Best Man's Speech at his Brother's Wedding

There once was a young man named Pratt
Whose sex life was just flat as flat
Then just like El Niño
Swept in Ms. Pellegrino
And the lean days were over like that

Now to young love befell a sad fate
Pellegrino craved a girl for a mate
But for Jeff she felt bad
Lack of sex made him sad
So his ex sent him on a blind date

Along came this lady called Jen
Who luckily only liked men
Problem was she's a veggie
Which made Jeff quite edgy
For he gave meat ten out of ten

Then one fine Hawaiiain day
Jenny went up to Jeff and said "Hey"
If you just give up meat
Love will be complete
And if not there sure'll be hell to pay

So Jeff knowing he had no choice
Said in a quiet little voice
Meatless can be a memento
If we move to Sacramento
Now they both could be glad and rejoice

And now we come to today
With the rings, cake and soon the bouquet
His few days as a rover
Surely are over
But the Pratt magic will never decay